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 my_empty_cradle - (plain_life0404)
08:06am 16/01/2008
plain_life0404 posting in pregnancy loss
I had my 2nd session yesterday.  Going into the session I felt happy and pleased, since I felt a relief after the 1st and didn't have any breakdowns.  Only 5 minutes into the session, tears flooded my eyes!  My therapist had brought up some thoughts and I started balling.  He had told me that there's still more uncovered emotions that I wasn't dealing with.  At first I was like, Oh okay.......  Then he started explaining some things.  Such as anger......I have a lot of anger towards God.  I had dealt with my anger towards him and it only lead to crying.  Then he made me realize that all my emotions were not towards him, but to myself.  I feel its my fault that I had a miscarriage.  I'm scared to death that there's a tiny chance that I could not have children.   My husband and I have talked about that certain "TOPIC."  I thought since we talked about it, it was alright.   Sitting in that room and thinking about it and talking about it, over and over again, it finally hit me.  This is the source of what truly hurts the most.  I'm so scared.
location: home
mood: scaredscared
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